Archive | 4:13 pm

Ring. Ring

17 Oct

I am at work now and the phone just rang and nobody picked it up. Me and the new “sales manager” (who has no one to manage but himself) play mental games with one another. Whoever answers the phone in the absence of our receptionist [read: admin assistant/office manager] must be the less important person. I’m not budging. The mental mind game we both play–may very well be my own creation but my intuition is usually fairly accurate.

In any case-I have the luxury of being too busy with projects to afford long winded conversations. I write this while simultaneously checking progress and leaving comments. I found -I work better with distractions–or at least that is what I tell myself.

It’s quiet -I need to play music but the problem is–I purchased a new mp3 player and I was so spoiled with the drag and drop method of my old one that figuring out how to sync all my music and organize playlists with WMP11 is proving more difficult than I could ever have imagined! I am supposed to just start a program and figure it out in 5 minutes like everything else–so I don’t know what my problem is. Maybe I’ll try again tonight. I only gave it a-go once so far after all.

I have a macbook which I love, but I am anti-ipod –so that explains the decision to stick with iriver incase anybody was wondering.
Oh, so back to the music issue. My current track listing is pathetic–and I was only able to load what I could before the older player ran out of battery–so in between Bjork and Cat Power– I hear Celine Dion’s O Holy Night. It’s especially embarrassing if I leave to go to the bathroom and I come back with Christmas music blasting when we haven’t even reached Halloween yet.

Stale

17 Oct

Like the gross sandwich I ordered at work made with -what was perhaps 4 day old bread, life lately for me has been stale. When younger (and by younger I mean several months ago), I’d revel in my misery and speak endlessly about my dull and less than gratifying life, but right now–I welcome this state of being (or non-being)–as it probably means I am ready for some change. And for someone who tends to check the “resistant to change” box when taking one of those online self-assessment tests, this is a good thing!

I experienced an excruciating heartbreak last year–details of which aren’t necessary–and I still find myself having off days. Sometimes it feels like I have more off days then on–but that’s periodically. It’s [heartbreak] something everybody has to go through one time or another–but I had hoped that for some reason–that painful experience would just skip right by me. It hasn’t–it smacked me right upside the head and chest like a ton of bricks marked “haha you’re dumped”– but that’s alright. As I have grown — I try to be less dramatic in my thoughts and the things I say–but I can’t help to think–at times– I had the love of my life early, and nothing will compare to those 4 years.

I guess nothing is supossed to compare to your first love anyway.

I’ve stopped believing I need closure–because I’ve had closure all along, but again I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss her (shh, it’s not a big deal) or think of her often. A lover (oh how I hate that expression!), a best friend, gone–and possibly/probably forever.

At least I have my memories–as biased as they may be (“What you alter in the remembering has yet a reality, known or not”) and the lessons learned. You never forget, but the trick is not to let it affect what you do or do not do afterwards. Next time–I am sure– will be better.

Danni–I hope all is well -and this is the last blog for you/for [what was] us. Well…for now :)

Inside my fortune cookie today was this: “Don’t give up, the beginning is always the hardest.”

It’s true–and good advice.

First. Primo.

17 Oct

There’s a first time for everything–and this well is my first blog entry, obviously.

I have written blogs before but I wouldn’t go as far to say that the bored, random, and typically useless entries I write on Myspace or Livejournal are worth much.

But who’s to say what’s written here is? I guess that is up to you . Whoever you may be.

Anyway–welcome and thank you for finding yourself here. I can’t promise what I say will be always be insightful, entertaining, or meaningful, but well…I can try.

Hopefully that counts for something for at least some of you.

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