Sunday.

It’s Sunday night and I am feeling restless in my boredom. Usually every Sunday I play softball all day long, so by now, after I watch Dexter (which is by the way–great!)–I am pretty much exhausted. Not tonight–I feel way too stuffed from the dinner I finished more than 3 hours ago and I don’t know what to do with my time. Perhaps I’ll read. But I doubt it.

I remember when I was younger — and by younger I mean even as recently as two years ago– anytime I was in this “bored” [read; solemn] mood I would torture myself by listening to depressing melodramatic music or writing super sappy poetry. All of that seems selfishly excessive and unnecessary now. Once you know real pain– you don’t need to revisit that feeling every other hour. Don’t mistake that for avoiding emotions–as I never think it is a good idea to detach yourself–but I just think at times–I was pathetic in my finding comfort in sadness.

I think people get stuck in these moods and in these modes and they don’t have the courage to move through them — so instead they find solace in the drama and in the pain. Sometimes I think heartbreak was a blessing as I learned a lot about myself and I also changed behavior that seems so stupidly dramatic.

I still love deep lyrics, and sad sounding music–don’t get me wrong. But it’s not for everyday and I much rather be laughing and having a good time rather than harping on the negative and finding others that feel/felt the same way.

We have the power to change our lives–and as cliche as it sounds–it all starts from within.

Ciao.