I wish you health
But more than wealth
I wish you love…
My breaking heart and I agree
That you and I could never be
So with my best
My very best
I set you free…
I would never force hearts that didn’t belong to me to stay …(nor would I want that) but I wish things didn’t end the way they did…I don’t let people in easily and you two got all the way inside to the core of me…Completely exposed and vulnerable…to then be totally abandoned and discarded… I will never deny the feelings I felt and how profound they were… I know people have a tendency to reflect once things end poorly and claim they never were really in love… No, not me, every feeling I had was real and no matter how hurt I am or how angry I was – I’d never deny it.
I’m sorry for pain I caused…At times my anger led me to lash out and I should have never done that… At times, being impulsive is not always the best thing. But, I am also sorry I wasn’t given the honesty I deserved either…I am a person, with flesh, emotions, and a bleeding heart…not just a lesson that needed to be learned or something that had to happen… I have never given so much of myself before, and I hope to never feel heartbreak like this again…
I have been touched and effected in ways that I can’t even begin to formulate into words… I will never be the same again…and I won’t ever forget you… Despite all the pain & anger once felt, you will be missed, thought of, and truly loved…always…
Here’s something that’s been said a million times before … Long Distance Relationships are hard. Even amongst friends, but with a lover, it can be excruciating, especially during times of duress. You need to be held by them, and they aren’t here to hold you -wrapping their arms around your body making you feel protected. They want to feel your kisses, and experience peace by your soothing touch – but your reach doesn’t extend that far. The reassurance you receive from seeing love in someone’s eyes is something that is constantly missing when you are physically far apart. If there is a conflict – it is easy to just stop speaking completely because hopping a plane constantly to force them to speak to you is not a realistic option. The physical distance can create oceans of distance between two hearts and possibly a lifetime of wonder… What if one of us moved? What if I did fly there and scream, cry all my feelings out instead of just sitting away in the silence? Sometimes things happen for a reason…Sometimes things happen because it’s the easier way out. We all have an active part in shaping our destiny. As much as I believe in Astrology and fate — I really do feel not everything is predetermined and written out for us. Cliche or not – with great risks come great rewards.
I will always follow my heart…even if my heart belongs to a person half-way around the world or just a few minutes away…Just don’t keep me waiting here too long and take a chance ;)
The Atlantic was born today and I’ll tell you how
The clouds above opened up and let it out
I was standing on the surface of a perforated sphere
When the water filled every hole
And thousands upon thousands made an ocean
Making islands where no island should go
Oh, no
Most people were overjoyed; they took to their boats
I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat
The rhythm of my footsteps crossing flatlands to your door
Have been silenced forevermore
The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row
It seems farther than ever before
Oh, no
I need you so much closer
So come on, come on
“There are always two choices. Two paths to take. One is easy. And its only reward is that it’s easy…”
“Of course we all have our limits, but how can you possibly find your boundaries unless you explore as far and as wide as you possibly can? I would rather fail in an attempt at something new and uncharted than safely succeed in a repeat of something I have done.”– A.E. Hotchner
I know there’s little use in crying
It’s my wide awake and dying that I’m used to
I thought we’d walk these streets together and
Now I’m hoping that I’ll never have to meet you
Step aside from all this anger
And somewhere in between I can feel you…
Ask me should we try again
I’m thinking no You know, it’s not what I believe in
It’s not what I believe in
You make yourself a photograph and laugh at me
Please …
No I, wanna taste you, love…
I feel exhausted by the emotions I carry with me and all the thoughts invading my mind. I walk around with this dull pain and feel numb at times, except when a song randomly comes on my iPod (like the one above) and I start crying on the train during my commute. I have much that’s been left unsaid – floating around in some kind of limbo and I can’t let it go. Not yet at least… My dreams as of lately have been conversations where I get to express everything freely, but once I wake up and realize it wasn’t real – I feel uneasy again…I don’t like being here. Left behind in the deafening silence. For the last year that’s what it has felt like and it caused me to lead a half-life. Why does love have to be so crazy and powerful? Heartbreak is annoying (to say the least) and doesn’t get any easier because love is so damn crazy and powerful.
I love this scene. It’s just so real to me – and so sad because of how genuine it is. The “sneezes” part – I became hysterical lol…This time around when I watched it — different parts triggered the tears. For many different reasons. One thing that I sometimes hate (and sometimes love) about myself is that I physically feel what others I care for must feel — even if I am not part (at least not actively or in a major way) of why they are feeling that way. Confusing? Probably but I can’t explain…Like OK–If two people I love go through a breakup and may get back together – I can imagine them having a similar conversation – and feel sick over the pain (their pain) — and then add in the pain I feel because I’d like to be with one of them…OK ..I just laughed out loud like an insane person… :shakes my head: Starting to understand my grief/agony yet? =P
The ending is up to interpretation. Do they stay together or is that her imagination playing a scene in her head? In a kind of non-idealistic way of looking at love, I just want someone who puts up with all my crap because a) they just don’t have the energy to go through heartbreak again b) they do truly love and believe in me…I want someone to build a solid history with- filled with wonderful (and even not so wonderful) memories together. That way, we have more than just feelings to hold onto when things get hard… Baby steps.
Yeah…As you can see I like to come home from work and torture myself with this crap. I guess it’s because I can finally just let it all out after holding back all day long. Sigh…Yay! :D
I never learned to count my blessings, I choose instead to dwell in my disasters…Lay your blouse across the chair let fall the flowers from your hair and kiss me with that country mouth so plain. Outside the rain is tapping on the leaves. To me it sounds like they’re applauding us -the quiet love we make…There’s a lot of things I don’t understand- why so many people lie…Well it’s the hurt you hide that fuels the fires inside you…Will I always feel this way? So empty, so estranged …
The tricky thing about a CompulsivePathological Liar, is that they never will totally admit to fault. They will, somewhat, in their own safe way. In that way that still makes them feel in control and appear to also be victimized. When you have been hurt by a liar, the apology they give you will never be enough because you will never hear them confess to all the lies, and all the betrayal. You will never hear them utter the words you need to hear in order to truly feel at peace, because they are incapable of doing so. Their image means much more to them than the truth. If the truth directly conflicts with the image they want you, and everyone else to see, they will always side with telling you things (and some half truths) that coincide with the image. Always. Their actions are never 100% genuine, because their actions are only done with the intention of doing whatever they need to do in order for them to be happy and believed. They can be very convincing for they have had years and years of practice.
It is heartbreaking to love and be in love with a liar. I am not talking about someone who lies to get out of a sticky situation, or a cheater who lies to cover their indiscretions. I am talking about a person with a serious problem (and I say this with compassion – not judgment). You ignore all the signs, you don’t want to believe this person is making up 50% of their life…You don’t want to think they blatantly lie to your face as they look “sincerely” into your eyes. As each lie is revealed to you (by your own accord/investigation/intuition), you become so hurt and torn inside. Do you confront them? No way… why? So they can lie and disappoint you even more? Or even worse, turn it around on you, manipulating the entire situation. Nothing is worse than wanting to genuinely forgive and forget about a lie you were told – explaining that to the person as compassionately as possible – and STILL being lied to. It is a sinking, deep and painful feeling. After a while when the lies start to become overwhelming, there is no way you can remain tied to this person as you once were. You’ll never believe anything they say. The heart is the most beautiful, gentle part of who you are, to throw it into the wolf’s mouth is a stupid thing. To throw it repeatedly is just insane. I didn’t want to be insane anymore.
It’s hard… to let go completely of someone you genuinely did (and still do) love. It’s hard to have them no longer in your life. I always try to keep everyone I love (or loved) close to me no matter what. You miss them but then you don’t know what you’re actually missing about them because you don’t know what was real. I just should have had the opportunity to know the truth about that person and then it would have been up to me if I still wanted to be there, still wanted to love. I would have stayed put, as long as there was honesty. Even if the honesty came months later. There are millions of reasons why someone lies, just confess, tell me why you did it -and I’ll understand and let it go. I wanted that so badly.
Don’t tell me things I want to hear, and stories that you think will impress me to get me to stay or find you interesting. I already loved you! Reveal yourself to me, your true self…give me what I give you and let us both love the person we truly are inside – faults, imperfections, mistakes and all. That is what I want from now on. Honest, genuine, pure, calm, good healthy TRUE love. I know it’s coming…one day.
If you deceive repeatedly, you will forever be doubted. You will lose people all around you who once cared deeply. Remain true, and honest, and life will be much more rewarding. This is one of the biggest lessons I learned myself many years ago, and time will tell all the lessons I come away with from this experience…
Be true because they’ll lock you up in a sad sad zoo…I once was lost, but now I’m found, was blind…but now I see you…
From Raymond Lloyd Richmond, Ph.D. “Psychological Honesty”:
Even a pathological liar carries deep in his heart a desire for goodness and honesty and yet, because of painful emotional wounds, believes that the world never has, and never will, recognize his pain. And so, to hide that pain from himself, he uses all the lies he can concoct to hurl at the world as he runs in fear from his own goodness.
I have crawled on my hands and knees through broken glass to prove my devotion and depth of emotion. You have watched carefully each time I have willingly bled and yet continuously beckon me to you. Please allow me to stand up and walk away… for I am dying. You are killing me by suicide. Tricky woman you are. Don’t feel any guilt, and don’t change your selfish ways. Just let me turn my back , and don’t call out for me, ever again…
I look at you and before my eyes it’s true…The girl of my dreams is not quite what she seems…Open your eyes inflatable girl…Lose the disguise…Release me from your spell…”
I have no delusions of grandeur, no dreams of becoming famous or well-known. My insomnia keeps me busy--both a curse and a blessing. I express my thoughts best through written form and music. I am completely obsessed with music and welcome you to share in that obsession with me. Enjoy.
No spam and keep any hate letters to a minimum, my heart could only take so much :) All mp3s on this site are shared with the intent to support artists and spread the word. In other words, it's all out of the pure love and passion for the music. If you own the rights to any of the content within and would like it removed, please feel free to contact me at daniwrites[at]gmail.com. If you don't - and like what you hear - buy the albums, see a few shows, tell your friends. Do the right thing ;)
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